Thump thump thump badump thump..

I am masking a dull throb in my core with the smile on my face. There is either a tiny creature digging through my organ tissue - burrowing tunnels to connect parts of my body that don't naturally connect.  I'm not sure whether I want to reach in and rip this little creature out or drown it in an acerbic mixture of tea, coffee, and SmartWater. I'm not sure, but I believe that she has invited a few friends to tap dance on my duodenum. She has taken her drumsticks and is playing beat out on my chest cavity.

Thump thump thump badump thump...

Is there any way to evict a sensation?

I wish I could close my eyes right now and sleep them away. I wish that I could spread a layer of material with frosting-like qualities inside of me and drown them into a stupor of silence.

Thump thump thump badump thump...

I wonder if all of this has to do with how I felt yesterday? I wonder if my nerves need more serious rewiring? I wonder if cold will ever feel cold or just painful?

I wonder where I went yesterday when I left my mind for an hour. I wonder why my legs hurt afterward, and I couldn't feel my knees.

I also, really, wonder, why these creatures have insisted on the tapdancing inside of me.

Thump thump thump badump thump...

I feel like I've just mixed vodka and wine again - my throat is dry and pulls at my feet - telling them that they are about to be turned inside out.

Maybe, it was the bread this morning.

Maybe, the answer is to accept and hold the fact that my body is sad right now, that maybe I've swalloed too much shame, too much guilt this week.

Maybe, it's time to shut my mind off for two days.

Lucky, it's the weekend.
Lucky, sleep is not an illusion.
Lucky, it also won't be an elusion.
Lucky, th'elephant....that's an elision.

Yes, please connect my hip flexor with my shoulder blade -
I really would like them to function unilaterally.

Oh, thank you, yes, I didn't realize that my small intestine could be part of my auditory system.

Rest is upon us
Perhaps, it will be
For now -
I remain...
as is,
The middle of the day.