Shifts

Shifts

you want me to see

through this murky blackness

and use my eyes

when they are caked with mud. 

I can't even breathe, 

through this foamy fog,

and you want me to scream

and wave my fighter's flag. 

How can you even

know what I go through

scraping my knees

on jagged tiled grounds. 

Scratching at skin 

that is too raw to start healing. 

I can't even see

what you want from me. 

Bring me your blame

Your guilt, your anger

Leave me with pain 

that I cannot see. 

Ice melts in my hand

too hot from stuffed embers

Your ashes live silently

as cancerous cells. 

My lungs pushing out

what you try to shove deeper

Get out of me, 

I beg you just leave.

God, just get out of me. 

It's almost a decade. 

Don't you think its enough?

You sit on my head. 

I just have had enough. 

Just let me deal

with what it is that I have to

and leave me alone, just go - 

find someone else.