Is happily married an oxymoron?

Is happily married an oxymoron? (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

It's almost as if marriage is the great mousetrap!!! Those that are on the outside are dying to get in and those on the inside are dying to get out! Over many an evening with spirited friends in high spirits, I've had spirited discussions on the merits and woes of marriage.

Inevitably there's a lot of joke cracking like 'everyone should get married, after all, happiness isn't everything!'. Men jokingly say, "I'm not afraid of terrorism. I've been married a few years!"

For all the rising divorce rates, innumerable cases of adultery, and increasing reluctance amongst people to marry either because they grew up seeing their parents miserable and bored or observing the unhappy marriages of their friends and colleagues, the fact remains that marriage still remains an institution with hordes of people queuing up for membership. Never mind that a trip to the altar of faith may end up with innumerable trips to the altar of justice, the never say die spirit and belief that 'we will be the ones to make it work', is commendable! Even more commendable are those that despite a failed marriage are ready to try yet again... and again! After my father's third divorce I laughingly told him, "why bother to get married, dad! Just find a woman you don't like and give her your home!" (He's lost a home to each wife)!!! Jokes apart, I believe marriages are workable and can be happy. I have seen childhood sweethearts, marry and stay happily so for 30 years!

If you don't know how, just look around you identify people in truly happy marriages. Not functional ones, but happy ones. Learn from them, as to what it takes to retain that 'happy' ingredient. From the successful you learn what to do, and from the unsuccessful you learn what not to do!