The story of a Mother's curse...
The story of a Mother's curse...
Recently, I visited a friend's father in an old age home. There I met a lady, around 74 years of age, who reminded me of my own mother. I introduced myself. We talked for a few minutes. Then, without any provocation, she started cursing her son & daughter. "Uday, you have come to see your friend's father. But my children, those %@#%$, never cared for me. They ditched me here like an ugly decayed old dog...", she was cursing & shouting so loud. And the beauty of the words she used, would create envy even among parliamentarians in India. I have never ever heard such gutter adjectives that she used, to address her son & daughter - horrible! I could imagine her pain, anger, hatred & alienation. I understood that her son was an engineer & daughter, a medical doctor. They had never come to see her & she was living only on her pension.
"Please don’t curse your children, mother..." I said.
"Both of them are living in huge bungalows with children & servants. They spend a lot of money on poojas & rituals too....but they can't spend a minute or a paisa for me“, she continued cursing them...Apparently, she was disillusioned, depressed, frustrated & carrying lots of negative emotions. A tragic situation, indeed.
Barring the emotional outburst, we fail to see some basic factors that point to a bitter truth in life.
"May I ask you a few questions, mother?"
"You have given birth to your children with a part of your own body. You have nurtured them well. You have provided them with nutritious food & nourished them..."
"Yes...yes...most of the time, I was starving to feed them...Since my husband was not earning well, we were living on my petty salary then..."
"You took care of their body so now they have a good & healthy body..."
"Yes - but my curse will finish off their health, their body will decay..." she scolded.
"Now, my question is, you took care of their body, but what about their mind? What did you do for their mind? Did you teach them any value based knowledge? Did you teach them your traditions, customs, rituals, culture & its significance? Did you read to them, our puranas & itihas?"
"Who had time for that? I was busy making both ends meet...I was starving, but I wanted to see them as an engineer or doctor...I wanted to see the society respect my children."
"So, your wishes are fulfilled, then what are you complaining about?"
She looked at me with a blank face.
"You taught your daughter MBBS - she became a doctor. You sent your son to study B Tech & he became an engineer. Those are very good positions in your society. You should be happy. You taught them to be competitive & selfish...fair enough. But how will they learn what you didn't teach them? Did you teach them any values in life? Where will they learn from, that they should take care of parents?"
"But...they should...right? I have sacrificed my life...I starved..."
"Mother, you made two mistakes - One, you were irresponsible to your own body & mind. When you starve, trillions of living beings inside your body will starve. Have you ever thought about that? It is self-violence. What about the curse of your own body cells? Two, you were sub-consciously deriving pleasure from this concept: 'Even if I starved, I fed my kids'. So you already got your contentment & happiness. Your wish was to make them professionals & earn respect in the society - it was also fulfilled..."
She didn't have an answer.
"Have you sought your kids’ permission before bringing them into this world? Did they request you to take them to this world? If you gave them a good body, it was your dharma to give them a good mind too?"
How did Rajmata Jijabai bring up her son, Shivaji? Jijabai told Shivaji, the tales of Ram, Krishna, Hanuman, Yudhisthir, Bheem, etc. - fighting injustice, being truthful, humane & freeing people from tyranny. These stories made Shivaji, great. He respected women & his mother.
On the contrary, how was his arch-enemy Aurangzeb, brought up by his mother? She made a demon out of a man. He imprisoned his own father, Shah Jahan & assaulted women & auctioned them. He traded Indian women as slaves.
"But...I was ignorant about such things..." she said.
"Ignorance of karmic laws is not an excuse; each & every karma will have its cause & effects. Abdul Kalam was brought up by his mother in poverty - he became India's most-respected President. On the contrary, Adolf Hitler was also brought up in poverty by his mother. See the difference? Mother, I am sorry to say, but you got what you deserve. You are responsible for your karma & hence the result".
"But the struggle I underwent for them? The miseries & hardship I suffered for bringing them up?"
"Mother, everybody feeds their children. But you should have provided them something else too. Have you shown them or let them experience poverty, miseries & hardship? You wanted to experience it for yourself in the name of love to children...then how do you expect them to know your troubles? You spent a lot of money to make them professionals. Did you spend a single penny to make them good human beings? You taught them, that life is all about tuition or scoring high marks in the exams & competitive items, like dance & songs. Did you ever take them to a cancer ward in the hospital? Did you ever take them to an orphanage? Did you make them understand the sufferings of old aged people? Where do you expect them to learn such things, mother? From reality shows? Commercials? Television series? If they think that life is about self-centered enjoyment, who is responsible for that life style?"
"But don't they know the meaning of 'Mathrudevo bhava' &..." she murmured something
"Mother, 'mathrudevo bhava' means, get yourself elevated to the position of the God & not that you demand your children to respect you as God...”, I said.
She didn't utter a single word. Tears rolled out of her eyes. I felt I was exceeding the limit, but somebody needed to tell her all this. It is for her own good. She should stop producing more negativity & hatred. She should take up the responsibility of what had happened to her - that would make her think. I am sure she would find solace. There was nothing else I could do in such situation.
"I am really sorry mother...please forgive me if I have said something that hurt you."
"No my son, you have opened my eyes. I think I am realising your points."
"And please stop calling your son, 'son of a bitch' - in fact you are scolding yourself here. Let me assure you, your son & daughter are not going to escape from the results of their bad karma. They will get it back from their children. Then, they may repent. That point of time, they may understand the sacrifice of their parents....So, just pray for them, instead of cursing them..." I said.....& left.....
This story tells a lot.
Parents' responsibility, does not end by providing all the luxuries & comforts to their children. Generally they think they should provide all those things to their children, which they were deprived of in their childhood & thus they don't teach their children to value things.
Offer them only what they need & not what they want. Inculcate moral values from childhood to make them realise the pain, suffering & the agony of mankind. As a parent, aim towards creating a human being, helpful for the society & not create a being, as only your son, or daughter.